My sister, out of humor, dresses in all black and refuses to accept flowers (unless they're black), chocolates, etc from her 3.5+ year beau because she absolutely hates the holiday. She doesn't believe that love should be shown in gestures on just one day of the year. I really can't say I blame her.
I, personally, dress in all black to join her just because it's kind of become a tradition.
However, I believe that knowing your relationship from the inside out is important, and what better day to think about that than on Valentine's Day?
Now, I will tell you, I am not a relationship expert. At 23 years old, I'm still learning how to load a dishwasher properly (Dad, Cadman, & Aunt Susie...I love you all), so how can I be expected to know everything about being compatible with another? Sheesh. Let me work on making sure the cups are turned upside down on the top rack first.
Anyways, here are a few things that I have learned-
Encompass your differences:
Cadman & I actually have some pretty different interests and in some ways, are two very different people. I love music. He can build beautiful furniture, houses, floors, etc. I love to read. He loves movies. I'm more emotional and diplomatic. He is very logical and straight to the point. He likes math. I.....don't. The list goes on and on. The biggest thing that I love about our differences is that we balance each other out and learn from one another.
Enjoy your similarities:
We are both very old souls, goofy, certified hermits, not very social, enjoy down time at home, love to cook together, discuss politics, different theories and cases in law, literature, and spending time with our very select few group of friends. Once again, the list goes on.
Be sure that your significant other finds your 'oddities' endearing:
I sound like a mouse being stepped on when I sneeze. I also fall out of stationary chairs, run into closed doors, high five the edge of my car door (yes, this really happened), fall down stairs, have large objects throw themselves at me all the time, and I trip over my own two feet on a daily basis. One of the best things Cad ever said to me was that he found my klutziness endearing, making my graceful-wanna-be self go back into a corner, which allowed me to embrace, well, anything that would stop me from falling.
I also have a tendency of leaving no less than 150 bobby pins scattered in his apartment.
Compromise, Compromise, Compromise:
We are really good at this, thank goodness. My parents have a wonderful pillow at home that says, "Love, Honor, and Negotiate." Ain't that the truth! ;)
Learn to laugh at the things that make your eye twitch:
I'm HORRIBLE about leaving a wet, wadded up towel on the bathroom floor which drives him crazy, and his sock drawer makes me have nightmares (all of the patterns are one geometrical shape away from not matching). However, when his socks aren't matched and there is a waded up towel on the bathroom floor, many laughs and poking fun is had by all.
The little things count more than anything:
Cinnamon rolls on Saturday morning, covering me up when I'm cold, getting me a Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sandwich when I'm not feeling good, having tea/coffee together in the morning, etc. I also can count on one hand how many times I have opened a door (including my car door, driving or not) since we've been dating. These are only a part huge list of the 'little things,' but it really means so much to me.
At the end of the day on Feb 14th, it's not about the flowers, the chocolates, the jewelry, or the dinner (though I will say Cadman nailed it on the head- A dozen roses delivered to my door just to brighten my day before he got there that evening, driving 2.5 hours to spend the evening with me, an awesome card, and bow earrings...), it's about the EVERYDAY things that really make a difference and make your relationship unique.
Ladies and Gentlemen, in agreement with my sister, if the only day that your significant other shows how much they actually care, it's time to buckle up and trade up.
As my Aunt so fondly refers to it as she snaps her fingers in the air.... "NEXT!"
I had a wonderful Valentine's Day with Cad, and I also have a wonderful relationship with him that shows everyday, good or bad. I could not be more thankful!
Side Note- Apologies for such a gap. I was down for the count with the flu, then walking pneumonia, followed by double lung pneumonia. Feeling much better, so I will try to keep up!