Moving...

I have a couple of blog ideas going, I promise!




I'm scrambling to try and move out of my apartment before the end of the month. It is so hard to have to leave, but I am so happy that one of my really good friends is taking it after me (Congrats on the job, John)! Leaving behind the first real place of your own after two years is so difficult, especially when your apartment is situated on a beautiful farm that encourages my hermit-like behavior.  Here are a couple of my pictures from my apartment!

As most people know, I am a major bargain hunter. Most of my apartment consisted of thrift shop finds, refinished furniture (by my mom and I), outlet store finds, Ebay bedding sets (see above), and antiques. One of my favorite finds is my headboard in this picture. My mother and I went on a junk store hunt one rainy Saturday and ran across this gorgeous, handmade headboard. On closer inspection, we discovered that it is made out of two old cabinet doors. If you are trying to furnish an apartment, go cheap! Your place will turn out looking quite different from most... :)

Here is my little living room! After everything that happened at the beginning of fall semester my senior year, I decided to go on a date with Mr. TJ Maxx to redecorate my living room to try to get rid of the memories that existed there (and my bedroom above, but the stuff in there had already been found). It turned out to be pretty therapeutic and extremely cheap! When in doubt about a room, outlet stores are a great option as well!

                                           

I spent a good bit of time this September and October roaming around the farm to clear my mind and find some semblance of peace. Of course, the best way to clear your mind and find peace is with a camera, right? This tire swing looks out on the barn and a beautiful pasture. It was certainly a place for me to sit, pray, and think. I'm so glad to have this picture as a reminder!

This was taken after a series of really bad storms. When I turned into my drive way, I almost steered straight into the fence because of this picture. Thankfully, this did not happen...BUT...I did end up putting the car in park to stand out of the moonroof of my little RAV just to get the height and angle that I desired. Double rainbows over your place does not happen very often!

These were taken pretty recently- I drove home after class on a beautiful, overcast day to find the fields laden with yellow flowers. It was absolutely stunning. The horses were roaming about their main grazing field, but with the way the sunlight was streaming through the clouds, it made them look like simple silhouettes until I got up close. Most of the horses on the farm are a deep chocolate color, so the contrasting tones of yellow and brown were most stunning.






Sorry for such a short entry, but I hope the pictures were somewhat contrasting with the previous entries! I hope to  have a little more time to write after I move the rest of my stuff out.


Blessings!
Sarah

Reflect.

I woke up at 7:30am, ready to start my typical, morning routine before class (typical for Sunday mornings) when it hit me-

I graduated from college yesterday.

Just to make sure that it wasn't a dream, I skipped over to my desk, only to be greeted by a glorious, leather book with my degree carefully placed inside. Thank goodness it wasn't a dream!

Alas, with every major milestone in life comes a series of reflections, whether they are in dreams, in spare moments of the day, or in conversations with your father on a back porch, waiting for an oncoming storm. How metaphorical, right? The past four years of college have been a whirlwind of new experiences, both large and small, that have shaped me into the person I am today. 

Here are a few things that I have reflected on in the past few hours that have changed me, shaped me, and made me appreciate life and what it really has to offer:

*I traveled to Sweden, Germany, & Portugal. I love to travel, and I'll go anywhere given half the chance. Paying my own way certainly taught me how to work really hard to save up for something that I really wanted.

*Won a scholarship through the Rotary Club to study abroad in Oslo, Norway. This is one experience that has honestly changed my entire life. Taking that step off that plane into the airport in Oslo showed me that I thrive with change and that it is really is good for me. 

*I fell deeply in love only to be utterly and unbelievably betrayed a year later. I've learned (and I'm still learning) how to heal from such betrayal. One thing that I have defiantly learned is the difference between the hard and easy way out. The easy way out is to be with someone else, make the same plans, suddenly shove all of the emotions aside of what has been left behind, and try to forget and replace the person that you left or left you.  The hard way is to handle the floods of emotions that catch you completely off guard (sometimes embarrassingly so), find a non-destructive outlet, pick up and sort through the pieces one shard of glass at a time, find the strength that God gave you, try to find closure in some form, whether you know why or when you know that the truth will never come, and move on when you know that you are at peace. After unknowingly taking the easy way, I chose to take hard way. Trust me, it is far from easy, but God has shown me a lot about who I am as a person and how I handle things. While this 'experience' is far from what I had hoped for, I am thankful, in a sense, that this is the path that I have chosen. My point is to take the hard way out- you'll grow in your faith, yourself, and you usually will not hurt anyone else in the process.

*I have made plans that have completely changed because they were not God's plans. Lesson learned- Trust God. He knows what is best for you.

*I've been stuck in an airport overnight, and believe me, being stuck at 4 am in Philadelphia will teach you how to be 'hood' really quick. Thank goodness that a family from Hamburg adopted me that night! I'm still so grateful for them. While this sounds like a crazy story (and it certainly is if you have about an hour to listen to the whole thing), they showed me just how much a small, extending, helping, kind hand could mean to someone else. 

*I have taken a train to a foreign country. I even saw a moose on the way! This certainly goes in the small category, but there is nothing like being on a train with a journal in your lap. It was truly humbling. 

*I learned how to ski with my hardcore grandfather who is probably in better shape than most people my age. One of my friends instilled this into my head- "You don't get old from exploring...You get old when you stop exploring." My grandfather is one of the youngest men I know, and I certainly want to keep exploring like him, no matter what my age.

 *I took the leap with my poetry and became a published poet and photographer. Submitting your work to the public eye is extraordinarily scary, especially since poetry is so personal!

*I started my own photography business at 21. I'm thankful that I did because it has certainly taught me a lot about handling funds and being patient with myself and my work!

* I can honestly say that I have laughed so hard that I've had to pull the car over. This happened on numerous occasions. Anytime I have a bad day, I try to remember those goofy moments! Take joy in the things that make you look and feel ridiculous...I promise that it is worth it.

* I picked up a paintbrush, grabbed some oil paint, and haven't stopped since. Finding an oasis with paint has been such a 'shaping' thing to me because my mind completely clears when the paint hits the canvas. Outlets that let you clear your head in a non-destructive manner usually bless you and others in the end.

* I've made the type of friends that listen, have picked me up and brushed me off, and have always been there, no matter what the circumstance. I wouldn't have made it without them there, especially this past year. True friends are the ones who have your best interest at heart, not theirs. Hold on to the people that truly know your best interest.

 *When I was 7, I came up to Dr. Hinson, the conductor of Piedmont College Chamber Singers, after his fall concert in 1997. I told him that I would be in his choir when I came college, and sure enough, I kept my word. I've shared so many emotions through music with this group that I cannot even begin to express in words. Having a group of people that you know will not judge you but are there to make music with you is one of the biggest blessings I have had in the past 4 years. These types of groups bring people joy and heal them when you least expect it.

*And trust me, not trying to blow my own horn, but I made Dean's List this year. Before you assume that I am trying to inflate my ego, let me explain this one a little bit. I am very open about having two completely separate learning 'difficulties,' because I want other people with similar situations to know that they can do it, despite the obstacles (I hate referring to them as disabilities, because the Lord takes away something in order to give you something else that is a gift from him). I have never, ever, ever used them as an excuse, but I have struggled to find ways around them. I was always the student that would spend hours studying and couldn't retain anything, which reflected in my grades.  This year, I finally found a way around one of them, which has made a huge difference in my life and my schooling. Underestimating myself and never having any confidence isn't something that I want for others to face. If you learn anything from reading this, may it be to always believe in yourself and your potential. 

*"Some people change, some people mutate." I have watched people that I placed a lot of respect, love, and trust in turn into someone that I had never met before. It is one of the hardest things in life to watch, knowing that you have no control over them. Thankfully, I am one who learns by watching other people make mistakes. My father once told me to try to envision yourself making the same stupid mistake. If you turn red by just thinking about it, it's probably not a good idea.

*And for some comical relief.... I was pulled over twice during college. The first time, I ran a red light after I had already stopped, saw the turning lane turn green, and I didn't have my glasses on. Whoops. The second time, our police officer in town pulled me over to give my family a sack of tomatoes. Welcome to Georgia, Y'all. Not only did I learn to be a little more careful at stoplights late at night, but I also learned to truly cherish the small things in life, even when it includes being blue lighted for a gift of homegrown tomatoes.

*Always keep your moral compass in check. This is, of course, a very broad statement but a very important one. 

*First and foremost, I really learned what it meant to have faith and trust God. It has been truly difficult some days, but he has never failed me, and he never will. Without God, I would never have reached this milestone in my life and seen the opportunity to learn something in the things listed above.  For this, I am forever grateful for Him.

WHEW. That only scratched the mere surface, but there are some of the most important 'perspectives' I can offer out of the 36 hours of reflections. Milestones in life are great for reflecting, but it can be a little overwhelming when it happens all at once. As I have mentioned before, writing is a great outlet. Take a few minutes to write out some of your experiences over the past few years, how they've shaped you, and what you've learned from them. It is very humbling, and you might be surprised at what you come up with. 

Sarah

New Hobby

My second knee surgery has finally been scheduled for June 13! I will be so happy when it is done. For those of you that are curious as to why I have to have another knee surgery, or I've had to explain it to you in a rush, here it goes-

Back in October of 2011, I started waking up with severe pains in both of my knees. The sounds of cracking, popping, and the feeling that my legs were about to fall off woke me up for almost a month. In September, I had my yearly physical and measured in at 5'10 1/2. After about a month of these unfortunate wake up calls, I returned to the doctor to figure out what was going on and measured in at 6'0.

Yes, I grew 1.5 inches in a month at 22 years old. Crazy, I know.

So...this is why I'm having a second round of surgery. Because of my quick growth, both of my femurs suffered from fractures, which caused my plica membrane to thicken and lodge itself between each femur. I was unable to run, could hardly drive, and trouble standing up without my knees giving out.  My right knee was operated on in February and has finally recovered.  I have finally been able to log 24-36 mile workouts a week (with knee swelling and popping in the left, but oh well)! I can't wait for the surgery to be over!

With this being said, I believe a new hobby has been formed!  My mother has decided to teach me how to sew my own clothing so I can have clothing tailored to my measurements. This weekend, we made a simple peasant dress that is right above the knee, 3/4 length sleeves, and cinches me right at my waist. We also made a really cute dress that is light, breathable, and cool enough to wear in the summer. Finding clothing in stores that fits a slender, 6' tall, hourglass figure is extraordinarily difficult- dresses are always WAY too short, finding long enough jeans is a joke, and finding shirts that are flattering with my waist measurements has been a huge challenge.

Ladies who share my frustration, if you already know how to sew, try some of these patterns-

http://www.simplicity.com/p-7500-misses-dresses-cynthia-rowley-collection.aspx

http://www.simplicity.com/p-7495-misses-plus-size-dresses.aspx

http://www.simplicity.com/p-7453-misses-dresses-project-runway-collection.aspx

http://www.simplicity.com/p-6159-learn-to-sew-misses-dresses.aspx

http://www.simplicity.com/p-5086-misses-tunic-top.aspx
 

If not, join me in learning how to sew! A lot of local craft stores offer sewing classes for a really low price. Between lessons from mom and classes over the summer, I hope to be able to make most of my fall wardrobe! Good luck!

Sarah

Challenge.

Pardon the short, potentially grammatically incorrect entry- 2.5 hours of sleep greatly diminishes my writing and editing capabilities.

Yesterday, much to my surprise, a poem and a photograph of mine was published in this year's Trillium literary journal! My poem, The River, was written as an exercise earlier this semester, and the photo was taken in Koln, Germany this past summer. Check out the work below! Also, congratulations to Abi for her first place poem, as well as Trillium for taking first place in the literary journal category at the Southern Literary Festival!

Trillium Link-

Copy this link & paste it into your URL-

http://www.piedmont.edu/art/Trillium_2012.pdf

Writing poetry is one of my passions. Poetry summons, challenges, deepens knowledge and understanding, but most of all, it heals (at least for me). This weekend, I challenge you to take a break from all of the crazy end-of-semester hoopla to try to write about something that creates a beautiful image, gives you peace, or even angers you. You never know where it might lead! Find a quiet place, get in touch with your muse, and give it a shot! If you do not feel like writing, I challenge you to exercise your mind and try to memorize a poem this week! I just memorized and recited Remember by Christina Rossetti for a class on Tuesday, and I'm currently working on memorizing The Human Seasons by John Keats. Doesn't hurt to try, right?

Here are a couple of helpful links to writing/reading poetry-

http://stacienaczelnik.hubpages.com/hub/Five-Poetry-Writing-Exercises

* I do not agree with putting your first drafts in the trash. Even if it is the worst thing you have ever written, keep it! It could serve a different purpose down the road. 

 http://www.writingforward.com/writing-tips/poetry-writing-tips

*Great list of tips for writing poetry!

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/

*Browse through here to read about poets and their poems. This is my favorite website for poetry!

AND on top of that, I was perusing through various funky libraries. Check this out!

http://www.oddee.com/item_96527.aspx

Happy Writing/Reading!

-Sarah

Never Settle.

 
Well, after attending the Southern Literary Festival in Nashville, Tennessee, I was encouraged to start a blog- here goes nothing!

Following your dreams is something I've always struggled with because I have always been a very free floating spirit who cannot decide on what ‘dream’ to follow.' My interests are too many and far between to really settle on one thing, but right now, I have to make a decision on various opportunities given to me.
Graduation is 11 days from today, which leaves me feeling like a damsel in distress, staring at the face of an oncoming, high speed train. I, so far, do not have a job lined up for this summer, but I will be moving to one of three places in early August. Honestly, I haven't really pursued looking into it as much as I should due to family health issues, three weddings, a wedding to help plan, and my pending second knee surgery all during this summer. On top of that, I have glorious beach vacation, and I have to move out of my apartment, which has been home to me for the past year and a half.

Sigh.

Alas, I do have options for after this summer, but choosing which path to take is my unfortunate challenge. Life, so far, has presented me with three options for after graduations, which are as follows-
1. I have been accepted to Western Carolina University's Clinical Mental Health Counseling graduate program. This would temporarily land me in Cullowhee/Asheville N.C. While this program would encompass my love to help others, I have some major doubts about doing this as a profession. I’m afraid of losing the compassionate, empathetic side to me that I greatly value. While this is an ideal location, the program is just the opposite for financial reasons. Considering I live outside of the glorious state of North Carolina, my tuition would run up to the substantial sum of about $60,000 for 2 years
.
Yes, $60,000. There is no way on the precious Lord's green Earth I can afford that, even after receiving my graduate degree. You may go ahead and zoom in on my empty wallet, if you wish.

2. My second option is The University of Richmond's Paralegal Law program. I would not have to pay out of state tuition, it is really affordable, includes a trip to Ireland, and it would only take me a year to complete. The starting salary out of this program would be double the starting salary of the previous, and it is incorporating all of the things that I love about English. Due to my profound interest in international, government, family, and cyber law, this could be a really great route to law school in the future. Yes, that would probably burn a hole in my already empty wallet, but paying student loans back wouldn't be quite so difficult after law school. The pros certainly outweigh the cons, so it looks like I actually may be moving to Virginia in August.

3. My third option is North Georgia College & State University's Counseling program. I just received an invitation in the mail requesting my presence at the faculty/potential grad student interview. This is not the most ideal location or program for me, but I really like keeping my options open.  

 I'm guessing you're wondering the actual point of this entry, aren't you?
Here it is. Read carefully.

At the beginning of this academic year, I truly underestimated myself and my potential; I didn't want to apply for graduate school because I did not think that I would get in, the G.R.E scared the living heck out of me, and I didn't believe that I was smart enough, period. Basically, I wanted to save myself from embarrassment. Well, low and behold, a fire was lit, and I got into grad school, have an option for a career in law, did surprisingly well on the G.R.E, and discovered that I'm actually pretty smart for a person with varying degrees of learning difficulties.

I got over my fears and reached out for opportunities.

People get discouraged and have difficulties believing in themselves. You have to have faith and confidence in yourself to succeed. Some opportunities arise, while others, like in my case, have to be sought out. Either way, believing in yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself life, even when your path darkens at times.

Believing doesn't cost a thing.

In the words of one of my professors (which I believe the idea might have been stolen from Jason Mraz)-
Take a leap. A net will always catch you, no matter what you decide.  

Carpe Diem,
Sarah